Self reflection

It has been a while since I've spent time thinking about myself. Here's some time for self reflection while Ada is asleep. 

Too many events have been taking place for the past few years since teenage days (18 & above). Adapting to changes and making decision have suddenly became very important. No more 'mummy says, you follow' and have everything 'planned' for you via the usual route of our educational system. 

I guess the 1st important decision that I have made for myself was to major in HR during polytechnic, get a full time job upon graduation and study part-time for a degree while working. 

I have no idea what life will be, if I took on a full time degree on Facilities Management at NUS back then... everyone was fighting to enter but I gave up my chance. I have no idea why, but I chose polytechnic over Junior College and a private part time degree over a full time placement in a prestige university. 

Perhaps, if I ever did that: 

- our paths might not cross each other's (whoever is reading it) and I won't even know you
- I might make more friends and lose some or lose more friends and made some?

- I wouldn't be moulded into the society that fast to become who and what I am today.

- I would definitely be doing something different and the list could just go on and on. 

Too much possibilities but I'm grateful for what I have today. I count my blessing for knowing awesome people and gaining invaluable experience which I might miss out if I've chosen a different route. No one knows what will happen with each decision made and will things be better if I've chosen the other option? Some people walked in, while some walked out but well, one just can't have the better of both worlds. It's like that, isn't it? 

Adapting to changes and getting used to people walking in and out is part of one's journey. Thus, in order to be unaffected, it's best to be unattached as much as possible. Things are a lot easier to manage this way, at least for me la! *you don't have to agree with me*

A desire to achieve somehow enhances the desire to change. I am seldom aimless in life, but when I do, I get myself out of the situation. Seems like it's the start of an aimless journey as moments like this will cause me to rethink and get uneasy over it. 

In case you're wondering... I am contented with what I have right now although some emptiness still creeps into me at times. The thing is, can I be just contented and stay with the current status. Argh~